This powerful, transformational project arrived at an equally powerful and transformational time in my life. I am so proud to be a part of it, and both the invitation and the participation humbled me in many ways.

I’ve spent the past several years shedding old beliefs about myself and beginning to claim the parts of my identity that I never had space for before. To call myself an Artist was self affirmation: I am the granddaughter and niece of professionally trained artists and although I always knew I was creative, I felt I lacked the formal education and overall formality of work that would somehow make me worthy of the title. I never considered my process or my materials valid, or the finished product polished enough. With the Bee Oracle came this moment of courage and audacity: I am an Artist because I create. It is my birthright not because I come from the lineage, it is because I am inherently creative and a channel for Source and Spirit.

I chose the winter themes because that had been the season of my life: taking stock, letting things compost and fallow, listening deeply. At the time I was very low energy–my inner flame was burning quite low–and I was stilling myself to hear the wisdom within. The Bee Oracle connected to that and helped raise incredible energy–like the winter cluster, I was reduced to my core essence and feeling the primal thrum. Like the winter solstice, I could feel I was at the beginning of something new, and like the wax plates, I had everything I needed to make my self and home anew–but it required some painful sacrifices along the way. Generally my art resides at the intersection of nature and spirituality, and it is deeply personal–a way for me to explore my inner depths and bring them into the light.

During the creation process, I really did feel like a wild woman, and anyone watching me work in my garage probably thought I was. I like texture, so I experimented with different materials–wall spackle, spray paint–and reusing things, like leftover ribbon, that I found around my house. The process was incredibly immersive, and iterative, and it was as if the art itself was saying what it wanted me to do next. I would be working with spray paint, decide if I liked the result; if I did, I moved on to another element and if I didn’t, I’d try something else like pastels or some other material. Doing it this way helped me be responsive and not precious. I had an image of my Higher, or perhaps, Adult self standing with their hand in the face of my Inner Critic. My Inner Critic has been so loud for so long, and has shut me down with its unrelenting drive toward perfectionism. In time, the criticism gave way to curiosity and creating space for my Inner Child to work, safely and without judgment. She had been waiting for that moment for a long time, and I need to do this for her more.

I believe that everyone is an artist. I am saying the following words to myself as well: Start where you are, try not to worry too much about materials and space and having everything be perfect. Often the hardest part is to start, and to be with yourself through a process that is messy and at odds with what your brain believes your art “should” look like. Give it time, give it space. Even step away from it if you can. See what comes for you and comes through. I’ll bet your creation ends up even more beautiful and heartfelt than you ever could’ve imagined.

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Meet Jen Ede

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